Illustration by Trịnh Lập
By An Phương
In Vietnamese culture, as in many others, people are often taught from a young age that humility is a virtue.
The phrase “khiêm tốn, thật thà, dũng cảm” (modesty, honesty, courage) resonates widely. Yet, when it comes to self-promotion, or “khoe” in Vietnamese, there’s often an inner hesitation.
Many feel uncomfortable sharing their accomplishments, dismissing praise with a simple “it’s nothing”. But is it truly wrong to promote oneself?
In reality, expressing our achievements can be a powerful tool for personal growth and professional advancement, especially in today’s competitive environment.
"Self-promotion is important, yet it's often misunderstood," says my friend Quang Đăng, 27, highlighting how people frequently mistake it for boastfulness.
"As we see the rise of online communities centred around 'flexing' or showcasing achievements, it's evident that people have a genuine desire to share their successes and seek validation for their efforts," he said — a point I couldn’t help but agree with.
"These spaces provide a sense of belonging and recognition—something many are seeking in a society that increasingly values individual achievement and personal branding," he added.
As a content creator myself, I firmly believe that self-promotion can open doors to new opportunities. By effectively sharing our skills, achievements, and unique perspectives, we increase our visibility in ways that enhance credibility and encourage others to connect or collaborate.
“It is crucial to redefine the meaning of khoe,” Ánh Tuyết, 28, said.
“Words acquire meaning over time, evolving to reflect changing values and perspectives. The term khoe in the Vietnamese dictionary, edited by Hoàng Phê, is defined as 'deliberately revealing one’s strengths or beauty, often through words'.”
Though originally neutral, khoe has unfortunately gained negative connotations, associated with vanity or bragging.
“But if we hesitate to khoe, then when do we get to share our accomplishments? Self-promotion, when done thoughtfully, is about building connections and communicating effectively,” Tuyết said.
For those of us who avoid self-promotion, there can be unintended consequences, particularly when it comes to career opportunities.
“In job interviews, for instance, failing to confidently present our successes can put us at a disadvantage. If we don’t practise articulating our strengths, we risk diminishing our own self-confidence over time. This can lead to unnecessary self-doubt, especially when standing next to someone who is comfortable sharing their strengths,” Tuyết explained.
My friend Hoàng Hiệp, 35, an expert in communication, emphasised the importance of nonverbal cues in effective self-promotion.
"Over 90 per cent of our communication is nonverbal, which highlights the importance of not only choosing the right words but also paying attention to how they’re conveyed. In a professional setting, this can make a significant impact on the impression we create,” he said.
I’ve found this to be true in my own content creation. I can talk endlessly about positivity, but if my body language or facial expressions don’t match that message, my audience may find it hard to believe. Brands consider this alignment too—they want influencers whose energy and vibe truly reflect their message.
We all agreed that there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for self-promotion. However, there are key strategies that can make khoe both effective and respectful.
Đăng emphasised the importance of clarity and directness in communication.
“For example, imagine two employees proposing a new work platform to their manager. The first employee presents their ideas in a roundabout way, while the second clearly explains how the new platform saves time, aligns with team goals, and offers a free trial period. The second approach is likely to be more persuasive because it is clear, specific, and relevant to the audience’s needs,” he said.
Meanwhile, Tuyết suggested that we should know our audience.
“Effective self-promotion means understanding our audience's interests and tailoring our approach. When you know your listeners' needs, you can present your strengths as solutions rather than self-praise,” she added.
Hiệp said that we all should feel empowered, not ashamed, to showcase our achievements.
“Everyone deserves to talk about their strengths and the good they’ve done—let’s celebrate that! If we don’t khoe, we may miss out on opportunities that those who do are likely to seize. The key lies in promoting oneself genuinely and gracefully, with the substance that backs up the message,” he said.
For those who feel unhappy, uncomfortable, or even threatened by someone else's boasting, it’s important to pause and reflect. Ask yourself questions like: Does what they just showcased highlight something you feel you lack? Or is their accomplishment something you could achieve, yet you’re not receiving recognition for your similar successes?
If the answer is “yes”, this is the moment to focus on self-improvement.
“Only when we feel confident in ourselves can we comfortably appreciate others' achievements,” Hiệp said.
“Let’s learn to celebrate everyone’s accomplishments—both those who promote themselves and those who listen. The more pressure we feel, the more we need to approach the situation with a rational mindset,” he added.
Embracing self-promotion can foster a positive atmosphere where everyone can feel proud of their career journey, we all agreed. VNS
OVietnam