Mike Dean before he became an international television mega star. AFP/VNA Photo
Paul Kennedy
When it comes to refereeing football matches, I’ve no doubt that Mike Dean knew his stuff. He did, after all, officiate in the Premier League, arguably the most competitive in the world, for more than 20 years.
He was certainly a tad flamboyant, and he strikes me as the kind of guy that if you meet him out socially, his favourite topic of conversation would be ‘The life and times of the amazing Mr Mike Dean’.
Since hanging up his cards and whistle, Deano, as I guess he likes to be called, has embarked on a new career that shines the spotlight even brighter in his direction. (“Make-up, we need more foundation for Mike’s head.”)
He is now a regular ‘expert’ covering Premier League games on Sky Sports, bestowing on the viewing public his unrivalled knowledge of all things referee.
And here is where my problem lies.
Brilliant footballers don’t always make brilliant commentators. And in the same breath, average players can become superb onscreen talent (Sorry Peter Crouch).
Just because Mike Dean knows refereeing inside out, doesn’t make him a television natural. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen anything more irritating on TV since the Crazy Frog.
Thankfully, I’m blessed with the amazing coverage provided by K-Plus, so I don’t need to hear Mike’s expert opinion.
But this week, after a few digs were dished out in his direction, first from Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp and then Match of the Day host Gary Lineker, I decided to watch some of Deano’s delights on YouTube.
First of all, get a smaller desk. You look like a chipmunk or a young Benjamin Button at his father’s “Bring your son to work day.”
And secondly, and this is the most important, just shut up, please.
Lineker, who I have to say was a brilliant player and is a brilliant television host, said he didn’t understand why referees are being used as co-commentators. He suggested it was a kick in the teeth to former footballers, as it implies they don’t understand the rules.
Now I’m all for referees being held accountable for their mistakes. This season, more than ever, we’ve learned that standards of match officials really need to improve.
And VAR isn’t really helping that much.
But I really don’t need to hear Mike Dean chipping in every time a dubious decision is made. He even had his two penn'orth this week when he took offence to Sunny Singh Gill, the first British South Asian to referee a Premier League match signing autographs during the game, calling it “bang out of order”.
Give it a rest Mike. I don’t think I’m the only person on the planet who really doesn’t give a monkey’s what you think. VNS
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